Kerplunk? Kerplooie.

I knew this day was coming. I just thought it would be a little more spectacular and devastating. When I travel for work, I do all I can to bring back new bottles and cans from that place. I have posted before on my Travel Techniques that essentially boil down to wrapping bottles in clothes and putting them into a checked bag (full bottles can’t go in a carry-on bag). Every time I collect my bag at the airport I’m expecting to see it roll out in a big puddle or hear squishing sounds associated with a broken bottle. After my trip to Texas (that I will write about next), I was pleased to find my bag dry and noiseless as usual. But, on the way home I thought I might just be able to smell beer in the car. When I got home and started to unpack I was greeted by the usual “we searched you bag because you have a lot of weird liquids in there” tag from my good friends at the TSA.  

Notice the ugly dark and still wet beer stain on there? It was accompanied by a distinct wet, beer-soaked clothing smell. Fffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! Well, I always knew this day was coming. Now the hunt was on to find the smashed bottle without cutting my hand into ribbons. One by one I pull out dry clothes and only slightly damp clothes. Nothing yet.  All of the cans are in tact and in good shape. Every bottle is unbroken and I even start double checking to make sure they are still full. I’m now down to the last bottle packed in the sleeve of my jacket (which is definitely wet wet). I feel the top of the bottle and slowly pull it out. The damn this is unbroken but really really close to empty.  

The best I can figure out is that the cap of the bottle failed and everything game out during the flight. The bottle had a really odd “dented-ish” cap that looked too symmetrical to have been an accident. I just assumed that it was a new kind of cap.  

So, although I lost a beer to the journey, I didn’t get the mass destruction that I thought I would get. What’s more, I can still drink what’s left in the bottle and keep it for the collection. This was certainly the best disaster I could have hoped for. 

Author: UsedHair

I am a labeorphilist (one who collects beer bottles) looking to discuss the adventures often involved in obtaining the bottles and the challenges that accompany the hobby.

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